We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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