I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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