They should really pass out barf bags in church
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
