Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
