she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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