Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
