I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
