Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
