Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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