Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
