If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
