Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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