I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I deserve this hangover.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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