i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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