So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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