Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
