I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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