Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You ruined the universe
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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