Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
