Pants 0. Shit 1.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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