hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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