just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
