He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
did i walk over a car last night?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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