haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
