Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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