He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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