Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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