you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
