Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
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