Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
