Can i not drive my cunt home
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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