remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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