I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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