Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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