You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
