Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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