He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
