There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
