I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
