Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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