I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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