glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
