theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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