I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
