Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
