Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
