2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize