its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
