sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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