Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
