Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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