accomplished twins. life is a go
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize