Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
