Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
