his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
