Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
