Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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