I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
