singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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