girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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