Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize